One of the
most difficult statements that I have digested in my adult years
regarding the Christian faith, came during orientation to my first mission organization. A group of about 17 potential missionaries gathered for a week of
learning prior to getting our assignments. We had many different training
sessions to help us prepare our minds for the sacrifice and commitment we were
undertaking. We had just finished our lecture on risk assessment – many
generations ago missionaries packed their belongings in a coffin and their
bodies were mailed home in them (if the circumstances allowed) when their time
on earth had come to an end - to go to the field was often a life sentence. During
orientation we were given a hard look at the many martyrs who had indeed given
everything for their beliefs. We were reminded of the missionaries left behind
when their loved ones were killed, who continued on in the struggle to share
the love of Christ – often meaning they had to keep walking alongside the ones
who had brutally murdered their beloved. We discussed how important it was to
truly accept and digest our own fate, knowing that it was worth it to lose
everything so that just one person might gain everything.
I was 25 years old -
so young, yet having to think about what my calling was and weighing it against
the possibility that my life could be ended far from the only world I had ever
known. It’s not that missionaries have any more reason to ponder their mortality
– we were reminded of a man in the local news who was stabbed to death while
taking a walk in Philadelphia – not a martyr by any means though he was a
Christian. The unfortunate can happen anywhere under any circumstance. I think
the point of our lesson was to begin to grasp the truth that across the world,
far from home, we would inevitably experience pain and suffering and have to
find coping skills that could not come from the traditional places. We would
have to turn to our Creator for peace, and lean on our new community when
possible – accepting comfort in languages, customs, and traditions very
dissimilar from our own.
During my years in the field I have
experienced many different losses. I can never forget the day I woke to learn
that my dear 23 year old cousin had suddenly died from some mysterious illness.
Being so far from “home” and in a world where I didn’t even have enough
language to express my suffering to my community – it was indeed like passing
through a great storm. Such difficult times would come to me again and again
over the years. I came to understand something new about the experience of
suffering… but that is another story for another time.
After our
final lectures on risk assessment - in that sobering and contemplative setting,
surrounded by this diverse group of people from all demographic groups, a young
black woman spoke. “Some days I wonder what my life would have been if my
people had not been brought here as slaves – perhaps I would never have heard
the gospel. Now I will return to them and share this treasure so that they too
can know.” The room was filled with shocked silence… white people - especially
Christians - often find it difficult to discuss things like slavery because it
is such a volatile subject. It is this terrible stain on our history and we
often don’t know how to confront it. Yet here this woman shared gratitude in spite of the suffering - where the trail of blood and tears ended, she found redemption in her own life - a reason to have joy.
Here in my
last days of bed rest I have read many different books. I just finished a
series of novels written by some of the very first published black American
authors, describing the South after the civil war as former slaves fought
for their rights. They endured unimaginable suffering, prejudice, hatred,
disenfranchisement both in the South and the North… As I read I was filled with anger at the injustice that so
many people experienced at the hands of people who refused to see them as human
beings. Those scars of slavery are still visible in many places throughout the world. I need not go into all of the details… But after reading those books, I
couldn’t help but recall my orientation - those young woman’s words and her
gratitude that regardless of any amount of suffering the path of her life led
to Christ.
My husband Paul
comes from an unreached people group – meaning that less than 1% of his tribe
have been exposed to the gospel. His tribe follows many traditional beliefs -
worship of animals and a dependence on witchcraft. His people are notorious for
closing their doors to outsiders. At about 7 years of age, Paul was estranged
from his family. The years that followed took him down difficult roads of
existence – the stories could fill many novels. He suffered through unthinkable years
of survival, yet in the end he came to know Jesus. Christ reached to him in the
most unfortunate circumstances and breathed life into him. Paul once said to me “If I had stayed in the village
and never experienced the difficult life I was given, I would have never known
Christ – I would be dependent on those false gods on whom my relatives still
rely.” He explained to me that while he was on his difficult journey through
life, he saw no light or reason to his suffering… yet in the end he has become
a free man while those in his tribal family remain prisoners. Like that young
woman so many years ago during orientation Paul was able to find redemption in the storm.
This joy found
in the tragedies of life has impacted me in so many ways. In the thick of the
storm we can’t see the light and wonder if we have been forgotten. But there
really is a big picture and God sees it. I would not say that God intended for
these people to suffer so that they would come to know Him, rather that He
takes the unthinkable, horrific, painful moments and He can turn them into
something beautiful and redeeming.
Thanks so much, Lori. I look forward to the day when Paul will begin to share his story of redemption with English speakers.
ReplyDeletePaul and I have been working on writing our story... it will need many editors to help us weave it together :)
ReplyDeleteLorien, I loved this post. It gives an insight into the journey that you are on and what your initial training was. Very interesting for me.
ReplyDeleteRegarding writing Paul's story, my give you the same advice I gave my father when I encouraged him to write his life story? I suggested that as he thinks of a story or is telling a story to friends, write down that story as a stand alone story as you would tell it - with a beginning , a middle and an end. Or just right down a fragment, know that later you can add to it. Write in no particular order. Don't worry about chronology or perfection. You can return again and again to refine the stories but getting the heart of the story down on paper is what is important. Later you will "weave" it together. But writing about THE moment is the goal and as you reread them later, you will add, subtract or polish. By the way, my father wrote wonderful books about his life and worked with my mom about her life and then the history of their family. They are unplublished but very precious to our family and I hope to scan them and get them into a format where I can share their story more widely. Good health to you, Lorien and give my love and encouragement to Paul.
Thanks so much for the advice Holly! I have been writing on and off for so many years - it often gets to be too intimidating and I set it aside :) I will keep trying to be in THE moment! The stories in our lives certainly are treasures. I am so glad your family can enjoy the pieces of your history - such memoirs are irreplaceable!
ReplyDeleteLorien and Paul...what a beautiful blog and testament to God's power to redeem. Kevin and have found the same in our lives ...as a pastor friend of ours said " there are no celestial garage sales in heaven ..He doesn't say .."well that heartache you went through, I'm sorry I just couldn't use it"...God can use EVERYTHING in our lives for our good and His glory" Blessings to you !!!
ReplyDeleteThank you Mary Jane! I am reminded of another saying from a Pastor "God's will to redeem is bigger than His desire to destroy".... Praise God for that! Thank you so much for your encouragement!
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